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Saying Goodbye

I’ve spent over twenty years loving her, raising her, and worrying about her. This morning she left – for good. My daughter is a grown-up and just pulled out of the driveway toward her future. I want to call her back or text her: “Remember not to leave wet towels on the floor!” (But she is tidier than all of us.) Maybe I could call and say, “When you merge on the interstate, be sure to yield (But she went to grad school in Albany.) So instead, I will do this: let her go gracefully.

 Last night and this morning as she was packing her belongings and loading the car, I really didn’t think, “This is it.” It felt like the other times when she would go off to college in the fall and pop back in on vacations, with a loaded-down car and boxes of books.

But today, when she smiled, surveyed her *former* room, and said, “Well, that’s it. I think I’m all set,” it hit me. I was saying goodbye to her permanently. Oh, she and her fiancé will come to visit. After they are married, they’ll split holidays between in-laws. We’ll go to visit them and their babies. But this is the end of her childhood. She has a dream job after getting her Master’s, she has her apartment while they house hunt, and she has a young man who loves and cherishes her.

So I guess she was right. She IS all set!

My husband and I have done our best. We’ve shown her how to enjoy life, talked about pitfalls to avoid, and helped her learn the value of hard work. I’m sure there are things I missed. But she knows about towels and driving. We’ve taught her to cook, clean, and save. She knows the importance of good, dear friends. She made the biggest decision of her life really well: her partner, Kevin.

Goodbye, big girl! I’ll miss you! Come back soon!

Love ya lots,

Your Mom

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
kellyrfineman
Jul. 21st, 2010 10:32 pm (UTC)
Dude, I got all sniffly over this, having met (and adored) your daughter earlier this spring. Here. Have some tea. And hugs.
marjorielight
Jul. 21st, 2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
My job here is done - I made a poet cry. Thanks for the tea & hugs! (I needed them.)
(Anonymous)
Jul. 21st, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)
Wishes
I wish that, maybe she'll learn to leave wet towels on the floor for just a bit? Live and learn, laugh and play. Kind of like your blog title.

She is a great young woman with her whole life ahead of her! We are very proud of her and Kevin.

Uncle Matt
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:05 am (UTC)
Re: Wishes
She is a wonderful young woman who has worked hard and achieved much. She and Kevin make a good team!
jenny_moss
Jul. 21st, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC)
This made me teary-eyed. Hugs for you both.
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:04 am (UTC)
Jenny - Thanks for the hugs! I was stunned how it just came out of nowhere like that after 24.5 years! (Sorry about the tears!) :-)
(Deleted comment)
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
Kristy - Thanks so much! We are happily in the throes of wedding planning, so I'll get to see her frequently! :-)
beckylevine
Jul. 22nd, 2010 01:26 am (UTC)
Wow. So glad you'll be seeing lots of her, but got a lump in my throat at the milestone feeling. You've obviously been a wonderful mother, and you still are being that. :)
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 01:37 am (UTC)
Her new home is a little less than three hours away. (My son is in San Francisco area, so I'm thankful she's close.) Thanks for saying I'm a good mother - that means so much! :-)
ex_kmessner
Jul. 22nd, 2010 02:36 am (UTC)
This post should have come with a warning. I am weeping, and I blame you.
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:55 pm (UTC)
I hope you aren't in a coffee house in Cambridge with free wi-fi and dripping into your frappe-mocha-flippa-iced-coffee. 'Cause that would be embarrassing.

Seriously, sorry I made you weep. WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! Just think, only four more years with your boy at home and then you can make tear-inducing posts, too! :-)

I miss you!
jessica_shea
Jul. 22nd, 2010 02:39 am (UTC)
This is so sweet. I bet she's great. And I bet it really, really helps knowing that you'll be there for her when she needs you.
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:57 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks Jessica, that's sweet of you to say. I hope she feels that way. I know her father and I do! :-)
gemella1
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:38 am (UTC)
Awww, Marjorie, you said it all -- and said it beautifully. I choked back tears. I can only hope for your strength when it's my turn to send them out into the world. Thanks for sharing.
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:57 pm (UTC)
Sorry I made you cry! I don't even want to THINK about what you will be like with the girls leave - you will feel it doubly!
cynthialord
Jul. 22nd, 2010 10:41 am (UTC)
Oh, what a beautiful post. Much love to you both.
marjorielight
Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Cindy! Letting her go was like bungee jumping - scary and exhilarating at the same time. (You are getting close...)
(Anonymous)
Jul. 23rd, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Wow...I'm not a cryer...
Browsing to see what you're up to on your blog and...THIS! Strange how her world has changed so positively with her career, future marriage, and all the other things that happen when you leave your parents for good. Sounds like she has things beautifully arranged to have a successful and peaceful life. I'm happy for her--but happier for you because you've guided her to this point...the loving, laughing, and teaching!

Ms. Madore
marjorielight
Jul. 24th, 2010 03:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting! I'm always glad to welcome new readers! :-) We are proud of her and look forward to see what she does with her life.
merintica
Jul. 23rd, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
Wonderful write- I know this feeling my son (my only child) grown and gone- spreading his little adult wings

in our heart they remain our "baby"

wonderful looking back at how they grow up and learn so much

congrats to your daughter & Kevin may they have a wonderful future together....

marjorielight
Jul. 24th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your well-wishes! It is a bittersweet feeling to let them go, isn't it? Glad you stopped by my blog & made me a friend!
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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